Just wake me when it's over, When the curtains raise,
It's time to move on. Exit now, credits rolling
llexpressionist
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Interests: SUBLIME, STAIND, DEFTONES, ALICE IN CHAINS, NIRVANA, SPARTA, slipknot,incubus, ill nino, pod, evanescence, silverstein, story of the year, metallica.......... img> src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v418/llexpressionist/art/ththto_you1.gif">
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Member Since: 5/27/2004

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Torn -LeToya Luckett


A part of me wants to leave you alone
A part of me wants for you to come home
A part of me says I'm livin a lie (and I'm better off without you)
A part of me says to think it through
A part of me says I'm over you
A part of me wants to say goodbye
A part of me is asking why

A part of me wants to leave
But a part of me wants to be here with you
and everytime I think that we're over and done
you do something that gets me back lovin you
and you got me just torn

Torn in between the two
Cause I really wanna be with you
But something is telling me that I should leave
You alone

You got me just torn in between the two
Cuz I really wanna be with you
But something is telling me that I should leave
You alone

What hurts the most is when we started out
It was cool it was everything that love’s about
But something happened
Cause I’m feeling so burned out
Becuz I can't understand you now
A part of me says it’s all my fault
A part of me says you aint’ what you want
A part of me says to get my bags
A part of me says I can’t do that

A part of me wants to leave
But a part of me wants to be here with you
And everytime I think that it’s over and done
You make me fall back in love
You got me just torn…between the two

So many times I, I was ready to go
So many times I, had my foot out the door
So many times I, I thought to give him a chance
Thought he’d be a better man
Now I’m sitting here and I’m so confused
Cause I keep fighting myself for you
I don’t know how much more I can take
But I can’t feel this way
YOU GOT ME SO TORN!!!


Tuesday, May 09, 2006


PERFECT CIRCLE
"Orestes"

Metaphor for a missing moment
Pull me into your perfect circle

One womb
One shape
One resolve

Liberate this will
To release us all

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue that's
Keeping me from killing you

And from pulling you down with me in here
I can almost hear you scream

Give me
One more medicated peaceful moment
One more medicated peaceful moment

And I don't wanna feel this overwhelming
Hostility
Because I don't wanna feel this overwhelming
Hostility

Gotta cut away Clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue
Gotta cut away Clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue that's
Keeping me from killing you
Keeping me from killing you


Wednesday, May 03, 2006

they just don;t understand......your more than just some girl


Monday, May 01, 2006

Long Survey About Yourself
What time are you starting this?: 11:48 pm
Name?: Vanessa
Nicknames?: depends, to most, im nessa, to the one that matters, im ducky
Date of birth?: november 2, 1987
Sex?: i have a broken down vagina
Height?: 5'2"
Eye color?: hazel 
Where were you born?: killer kent
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?: i cant remeber the last time i had a birthday cake, but if your trying to figure out how old i am, look at my date of birth and do the math
Pets?: i dont have any, but my home is inhabited by 4 dogs, 1 cat, 2 fishys, and 3 birds
Hair color?: brown, copper, and orange
Piercings?: 2 in each ear, nose, belly button, im pretty kosher
Town you live in?: outskirtsof dover, on a map, im the empty unclaimed white area between dover, camden, and lebanon 
Favorite foods?: danyelles moms homemade baked mac and cheese
Ever been to Africa?: not yet, but maybe one day 
Been toilet papering?: no, i dont do ignorant things to ppl that i wouldnt want done to me, i strongly believe in karma
Love someone so much it made you cry?: everyday
Been in a car accident?: unfortunately, not my fault, damn snow, last february. grr 
Croutons or bacon bits?: neither  
Favorite day of the week?: everydays pretty much the same to me
Favorite resturant?: um, right now, applebees, damn fiesta lime chicken and rice, is sooo tasty 
Favorite flower?: stargazer lilies
Favorite sport to watch?: pro wrestling
Favorite drink?: everclear & kool-aid  
Favorite ice cream flavor?: banana from the amish people at Spencers Bazaar
Warner Bros. or Disney?: i love disney movies  
Favorite fast food restuarant?: i don't usually eat fast food, but i'd probably hit up taco bell
Carpet color in your bedroom?: i have two bedrooms, the one im in right now is like dark red, magenta, whatever, my other room, is green and yellow
How many times did you fail your driver's test?: never, i am SMRT, lol
Whom did you get your last email from?: ebay
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?: charlotte russe
What do you do most often when you are bored?: masterbate
Most annoying thing to say to me?: just about anything, im easy to annoy, i have a short fuse
Bedtime?: depends on when i work and whos sleeping over
Favorite TV show?: family guy  
Last person you went out to dinner with?:: jenn and kimi, but im the only one who ate
Been out of country?: no but id like to  
Believe in magick?: no, miracles, yes
Ford or Chevy?: fords gay, so is chevy, but i'll give it to chevy just for their sexy sexy 60's NOVA 
What are you listening to right now?: kimis voice and the sound of adult swim in the background
Have you ever failed a grade?: no i was a good kid till 2006 rolled around 
If you have, what grade did you fail?: 13th, cuz im not in college and i should be
Do you have a crush on someone?: yesh
Do you have a bf/gf?: no :(
If so, what is their name?: my right hand
How long have you been together?: my whole life, but we werent intimate till i was about 15  
What are you wearing right now?: my black o'neill t-shirt and my zebra jammies, and pink panties, yum
Would you have sex before marriage?: if it was a girl, otherwise, i'd like to chose celebicy please
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: yea but becuz i still talk to this person every now and then and some ppl may read this and run there mouths, id like to remain annonymous
Are you a virgin?: i wish 
Do you smoke?: dont worry about it
Do you drink?: yes please
Are you ghetto?: not usually
Are you a player?: no, but i firmly believe in get what you can get then get out   
What are your favorite colors?: pink, green, white 
What is your favorite animal?: elephants, giraffes, zebras, penguins 
Do you have any birthmarks?: yea, its actually pretty cool, im one of about 2% of C-section babies that get cut during surgery, its on the bottom of my back, its pretty awesome
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: yea
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: jennifer 
Have you ever been slapped?: yes
Do you get online a lot?: more than i used to
Are you shy or outgoing?: depends, if i dont care about the person im outgoing, but if i really care about someone, im pretty shy
Do you shower?: no, i only have a tub
Do you hate school?: well i no longer attend  
Do you have a social life?: i never did, then i had a very active one, no its kinda fizzled out to appease danyelle
How easily do you trust people?: i dont
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: you'd think not cuz i dont keep much it, but the really important stuff......well........i keep it to myself 
Would you ever sky dive?: probably not, im not a big risk taker
Do you like to dance?: i love to dance, i cant really, but i'll shake my tushy just about anywhere 
Have you ever been out of state?: yes
Do you like to travel?: depends on how long im stuck in a car and who im stuck in a car with
Have you ever been expelled from school?: no, good kid remeber?
Have you ever been suspended from school?: read above line
Do you want to get out of your hometown?: yes but only temporarily 
Are you spoiled?: never
Are you a brat?: not by my standards
Have you ever been dumped?: yea and it fucking hurts!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever gotten high?: not yet  
Do you like snapple?: i';ve never
Do you drink a lot of water?: yea
What toothpaste do you use?: crest
Do you have a cell phone?: yea
Do you have a curfew?: no maim
Who do you look up to?: i used to look up to danyelle, cuz shes really smart and talented, but now, i dont have anyone to look up to, and i think thats y im becoming such a loser
Are you a role model?: depends on who im around, some people im good around, others i just dont care anymore
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?: what the fuck is cedar point. everyone has been to six flags
What name brand do you wear the most?: roxy
What kind of jewelry do you wear?: earrings, rings, noserings, belly rings, necklaces, bracelets
What do you want pierced?: monroe, lip
Do you like takin pictures?: love to save my memories
Do you like gettin your picture taken?: not really, i have no self esteem
Do you have a tan?: i wish, but i dont bake like a jew
Do you get annoyed easily?: this questions annoys me (lol)
Have you ever started a rumor?: apparently, but i have no recolection of it
Do you have your own phone or phone line?: yes
Do you have your own pool?: its not mine but its my families so i enjoy it often 
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: im a girl i like girly panties
Do you have any siblings?: 4 wonderful sisters (shelley, adrienne, jennifer, and katey, and one deceased lil brother (RIP sebastian)
Have you ever been played?: nosure have
Have you ever played anyone?: not one purpose, but i had to follow my heart
Do you get along with your parents?: sometimes
How do you vent your anger?: cut, paint, cry
Have you ever ran away?: sort of, my mom told me to get out, so i did, and apparently i instantly became a fucking runaway and my family made a big ordeal out of it
Have you ever been fired from a job?: im a good worker too
Do you even have a job?: sure do
Do you daydream a lot?: yea, but it confuses me cuz im never sure if its real or not
Do you have a lot of ex's?: i think like 26, i had a new boyfriend everyweek freshman year, serious X's tho, 3
Do you run your mouth?: i can if i feel its necessary
What do you want a tattoo of?: i think the next one im getting is a baby angel sitting on baby blocks that spell out my lil brothers name
What do you have a tattoo of?: a cross on my shoulder, a stick man pushing a lawn mower on my bikini line, and a shooting star on the sideof my foot
What does your ex bf/gf look like?: i don't wanna go there right now
What does your most recent crush look like?: like a boy
Whats her/his name?: i prefer to keep it annonymous
Have you ever been bitched out?: all the time  
Are you rude?: only when necessary, otherwise i apologize
What was the last compliment you recieved?: someone told me i was fucking sexy yesterday
Do you like getting dirty?: i hate germs and dirt
Are you flexiable?: depends on what i have to be flexible about
What is your heritage?: irish and native american
What is your lucky number?: 26, its lucky cuz that was the day i found an angel
What does your hair look like right now?: hair
Could you ever be a vegetarian?: no, i love steak, and i love chicken, and pussy
Describe your looks?: im 5'2", i have a sexy chubby tummy, i have lo ng brown and red hair, danyelle says i kinda look like rachel bilson from the OC
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?:

black and pink

 

Would you ever date someone younger than you?: im thinking about it
Would you ever date someone older than you?: i prefer it that way
When was the last time you were drunk?: friday night  
How many rings until you answer the phone?: as soon as i hear it  
Have you ever been skinny dipping?: yes  
If yes, when was the last time?: some summer, im not sure what year
When was the last time you went on a date?: beggining of april
Do you look more like your mother or father?: mother
Do you cry a lot?: not now that i dont feel feelings
Do you ever cry to get your way?: i used to, now i just give up
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: its kosher
Are you the romantic type?: yea
Have you ever been chased by cops?: no, but i cant help but feel that if i stay around danyelle i just might have to  
What do you like most about your body?: i dont  
What do you like least about your body?: belly
When did you have your first crush?: 5th grade, his name was Chris Pina  
When was the last time you threw up?: mid-march
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: brunettes
Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: hell fucking no 
What about cleavage?: sometimes (wink wink)
Is your best friend a virgin?: none of my friends are virgins
Have you ever fucked someone up?: unfortuantely cuz i love her and im sorry
Have you ever been fucked up?: yes (sad face)  
What theme does your room have?: what is a theme
What size show do you wear?: 8
What is your screen name on .. llexpressionist
How are you feeling right now?: tired, head hurts, horny
When was the last time you were at a party?: well we had a mini party at my house friday night
Have you ever given a lapdance?: christina millian, brecknock park ring a bell to anyone
Have you ever recieved one?: not really  
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: all the tie, people apparently know all this shit about me, yet they dont know my last name, but whatever
What is one of your bad qualilties?: im really mean for no reason sometimes
What is one of your good qualilties?: im really loving  
Would you marry for money?: only if they were a huge money hungry dick head who deserved it, and i could divorce and get allamony,  
What do you drive?: 96 mazda protege
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?: neither, no one really loves me  
So?: eat me  
Well?: then choke  
When was the last time you cried in school?: graduation, yea, thanx for ruining my important moment dad
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?: i prefer to
What kind of music do you like?: rock, techno, rap, country
Would you ever bungee jump?: again, not a risk taker  
What is your worst fear?: danyelle
Would you ever join the army?: no
Do you like cows?: i love my mommy  
If you were to die today, what would you do?: i wouldnt do anything, i'd be dead, hello, cant do nothing but lay around and be dead
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it b?: yea, heres my sentence, cuz one word is bullshit, if it was tomorrow: danyelle, i love you, ive always loved you, never forget me, be strong, make me proud, dont worry, im going home now, and one day we'll be together again  
Do you like to party?: yea
Hearts or broken hearts?: i dont understand can u put it in a sentence please
Moons or stars?: stars, cuz there burnign balls of gas flying thru the air, how cool is that  
Coke or pepsi?: coke
Favorite scent?: stoked about life (my perfume)
Favorite band?: deftones
Would you ever dye your hair red?: well its natural orangy red now, and its been dark red red b4
How many languages can you speak?: 2 and a half
What time are you finishing this?: 12:50


Sunday, April 30, 2006

BAN HETEROSEXUALITY

STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE MEANIES



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LifeLessExpressionist

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